Squirrel Faces

This old lady and I have been watching these squirrels eat from a bird feeder for months now. They come every day and eat till they look pregnant. I used to think they were so cute (a born animal lover) but then I saw them viciously fighting over some sunflower seeds. Now every time I see them I want to shoot their little squirrel faces off. I can’t help it. They made me this way. They did this by their greed!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

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Ebay & Paypal are Jerks

I am executing my rights for freedom of speech. If I listened in history class I would know what amendment that was, but I didn’t.

So now begins the bitch fest…

I sold an item on Ebay for $99 with $20 shipping charge (which I used all of to ship the item). They let me list for free THEN Ebay took $11 and some change when it sold and Paypal took over $5 when I received funds from the buyer. Im not trying to be a Jew (pardon my french)(and no I’m not slandering the Jewish race, I like Jew, I look like a Jew, and when I was little I wanted to be a Jew) but in all seriousness is it really necessary to charge that much? I mean maybe a couple dollars from Paypal is acceptable because I believe they have buyers protection, but come on Ebay…$11…seriously? Its a tad much don’t you think? PSSSSHHHH BOOOOO Throw some ads up on that bitch to lower your website functioning costs and call it a day. Im down with some ads if its going to save me $11. Shyt

 

So basically after the cost of the item, shipping, ebay charges, and paypal charges I made about $5-$15. Which isn’t bad but if you don’t have a really excellent item in demand Ebay would be a bitch to make money off of.

 

Cussing like a sailor, my appologiezzzz

 

 

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I cut my fingers off

This is how it went:

10:25pm text messaging my roommate from the room next to her

Me: Hi

Me: Cut my fingers off

Me: need helpggf

Me: Hurrry

me: *Sends picture of scissors*

photo (2)

*10-15 minutes pass with no rescue from roommate even though I know she got my text because I can see her typing in the message on my phone because my phone is cool*

Finally she yells out of her door to me

Her: “are you okay”

Me: “moan sadley”

Her: “im not joking, should I take you to the hospital?”

Me: *I prepare for her arrival to my room by crumpling up into a ball hiding my hand and holding the scissors in the other hand*

Her: *Walks in my room to save my life and yells at me to show her my hand*

Her: *cusses me out for faking a injury*

Moral of the story:

 

Sometimes you need to test the emergency skills of the people around you. My roommate is a jerk and I would have bled to death by time she got there. 

 

 

Please don’t steal, take, use, copy, change my posts/blogs. They are forever mine.

Swiffer Guy with One Arm… Racism? Belittling Handicap? Sexism?

So I was just watching the swiffer commercial with the man with one arm, and I started wondering how he lost his arm (I get curious and my mind races too fast). So I googled “why does the swiffer guy have one arm.”

And out of all the posts, websites, and blogs that showed up on the google search, each one started out by stating why he lost his arm followed by long rants about racism, sexism, handicap belittlement…

Seriously? It’s a fucking cleaning commercial with a interracial family. Its no big deal, we all have eyes, we see it.

I’m pretty sure when he said “and I still clean better than her” he meant because she has two arms and he has one. Not because she is a woman and she should be cleaning, cooking, and baring bastard children. I don’t know the guy, but come on!!! carrying on, I also highly doubt he meant “handicap people are less equipped to clean then normal born citizens of the world” or ” a white person cleaning better than a black person is shocking because they were once enslaved as housekeepers.”

Im sorry but when I was watching the commercial I took away none of these things. I saw a sweet family cleaning a house with a box delivered to their door full of cleaning supplies. If anything I think we should be concerned why they just opened a large box sent to them anonymously. It could have been full of anthrax, sharpened spears, or one of those fishes that killed Steve Erwin just waiting to pop out and kill a brother. Maybe there should be controversy because our precious children are watching this commercial and seeing that its okay to open a strange delightfully wrapped package full of toxic chemicals at their door? Hmmm? Riddle me that! RIDDLE ME THAT AMERICA!!!!

 

 

Please don’t steal, take, use, copt, or change my posts/blogs. Thankaaa youuuu.

Obsessed with my Cat

I am OBSESSED with my cat. His name is Lilly (because for about a year I thought he was a girl). I seriously cannot begin to explain to you how much I love him. He is my itty bitty lover. I will give you some examples of my love for him:

 

  1. On his first ever trip to the vet I put him in a tiny cat tuxedo. Let’s just say, people were impressed by how he cleans up.
  2. He sits about and inch from my face staring at me till I wake up. It’s so lovely to be waken by him and not my alarm.
  3. We dance together.
  4. Sometimes when I wake up his little paw is in my hand.
  5. We have nick names for each other
  6. Lilly’s face swelled up due to a mouth ulcer. After months and tons of money at the vet, nothing had worked. So I bought him some potion online. I self medicated my cat with my newly bought potion. But as I fed it to him, I ate some too. I figured if he was going to die I was going to die as well. Very Romeo and Juliette of us.
  7. We run through the ward together and sit in the sun
  8. He comes when I snap my fingers
  9. He is soft and has thick fur
  10. And of course I love my cat for the reason any battered woman loves a man, because he is an asshole to everyone else but me.

The End.

Please don’t steal, take, use, copy, or grab at my posts/blogs/writings. They are mine! Mine mine mine, you hear me?

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/cant-get-it-out-of-my-head/

Its not just cheap trick who has a little cheap in them…

I think we all have a little cheap in us. I can’t be the only one.

If it comes to buying something I desire I want the best model. For instance when I bought my mac I wanted the biggest, fastest hard drive (etc). Just in case I become a gamer, a video editor, or design my own website. Although I have done none of  these to the extent that I would need a $2,000 mac, I still bought it by the slight chance I may become/do one of those things. Yes, I edit video’s now, but nothing brilliant. With all that being said, do not be misconstrued, I am no chump. I never buy all the ridiculous add on’s. Unless its a warranty, from good ole best buy. Why you ask? Because I have done the following to my macbook:

  1. I stepped on it when I was sleepy and looking for water
  2. I was walking with pudding, slipped on water, threw my pudding against the wall, and as I fell to the ground I punched my laptop.
  3. Put my finger through the screen because I pick it up that way.
  4. I balance liquid on the base of the mac.  Then I pray my cat doesn’t jump on the bed and tip it over… because I like to live life like its a giant Russian Roulette gun.

 

But then here comes the cheap in me… If someone tells me to buy something, or forces me too, I become super cheap. My wallet (which I do not own) goes from fat to as empty as the gym on sunday’s. Seriously, I will try every way you can think of to get around it. For instance if I have to buy a study book for class, I will literally google & note enough information that I could publish it. Im that determined to not spend $150 on education; I will research all the material I need online until all hours of the night. “Work smarter not harder” in no way applies when it comes to people forcing me to spend money frivolously. HECK NO!

Side Note: I’m pretty sure I am just mad that our education system is set up to rob us instead of to fulfill us. But that is a whole other Vietnam rant. Don’t get me started. I may be in my mid 20’s but I can go Nam’ on the flip of a switch.

 

ps-Please don’t steal, take, copy, or use my writings/posts/blogs. They are mine. Because I said so.

Grinding my Teeth Because of an Eery Bunny in my Dreams

I grind my teeth at night and have some really odd dreams.

The other day I dreamed about some weird dead bunny creature that was slowly grabbing at another creature that I have never seen before. It was definitely some Nightmare Before Christmas Shyt.

I woke up in a panic, I have no idea why, I guess I assumed the weirdo bunny was going to eat the other creature. Now-a-days I take the liberty of assuming everyone is on bath salts, and everyone wants to eat my face off… One cannot be too careful, am I right?

Anyhow, so I woke my Boyfriend up and told him I had a bad dream. He very sleepily (and obviously tremendously concerned for my well being) asked me what it was about. I answered,  “a evil bunny.” He laughed. Then I flipped out on him.

I mean seriously if Justin Bieber can sing “Your world is my world, and my Fight is your fight, My Breath is your breath” then why the H@#$ isn’t my fight with a eery mutant bunny my boyfriends fight? Am I missing something here?

After feeling very estranged from my boyfriends laughter I fell back asleep. The bunny was gone. All is well.

 

 

 

Please don’t steal, use, take, copy, or grab at my posts & blogs. They are mine. Thankaaaa you!